I am at a lull. I don't know what it is and I can't pinpoint any one thing. So let's just call it a lull. I don't have any words today, I haven't in a few days, probably more. Have you noticed? Anyhow, my non-blogger friend, sent me an email... she called it her Non-blog, Blog.
So here you go. I'd love to know your thoughts...
Thankfulness and counting your blessings are themes that people seem to throw around at random this time of year. However, what does that mean??? Does that mean that we don’t fill out our Christmas list because we are seriously content to receive nothing? What girl is okay with not getting at minimum one pretty wrapped package? Does that mean that we are submissive to our husbands and actually stick to a holiday budget? Or does it simply mean that we look at what we have and reflect on not being spoiled brats compared to the rest of the world, where so many have so little.
This year I have had to deal with this issue quite a bit through my study of Moses and his life. I am not far mind you, he just got the 10 commandments. However, I realized that I am extremely quick to judge the Israelites for their dumb decisions, and whining. I need to stop. You see, I whine. I complain, and if God isn’t giving me exactly what I want, when I want it, I usually am pissed off.
I have grown in this area as well. I ironically am surrounded by fertile myrtile friends, I am NOT in their league, neighborhood, or state when it comes to that. I had to learn to wait, and be content on HIS timing, HIS plan, and if it came down to it, dealing with the reality of having only one child (NO Cal**** has one kid! We multiply people it’s in the name), or possibly in the early days having no children to call our own naturally. I had to come to the place where even though I was extremely unhappy, that I had to believe that although this place was hard, it wasn’t the hardest I would have to face yet. It was quite simply a place that was preparing me for what was to come.
I had to grow again being a stay at home mom. Many days I fail in this area financially. I want to spend money as if I were still making booku bucks teaching, even part time. I want to spoil my children when I find the “just right thing”. I want to spoil my husband, who coming from a family of seven has a different history with gifts, and therefore is a gifts person. I want the latest fashions, name brands, shoes, handbags (not purses, those are for men). I struggle with greed. Yet in my struggles, I also want to see my kids leave for school, be the one to pick them up, and provide for them the calmness of home that is, when I am home. I want their sheets to be clean, our house to be in some sort of order, and for me not to be frantic over what isn’t being done, because I am taking care of someone else’s kids. I want my cake and eat it too with Starbucks on the side! These things don’t have a price tag. Oh sure there are sites that you can go to that put a price on a stay at home mom, but who are we kidding, it doesn’t in the long run matter if the check isn’t coming in the mail. I don’t think California is going to start paying us for raising responsible, healthy, and morally sound children (not in the budget this year for CA).
So to count my blessings means what? It means to be thankful to a God that has more in store for me than I can see. To continue to strive to be obedient in my spending even when I don’t want to. It means that when I don’t want to count my blessings, I give the respect to God that HE deserves because HE is the one who gave them to me in the first place. I am not in Africa fighting malaria. My kids are not dying of cancer, or spending tonight in some strangers hell taken from me. I have a puppy. I have a family. Now things might not be how I dream of them to be, and there is always someone who has more, but I need to be content on what I do have, so that I am not a bitter, angry mom, who stays home with her kids, and focusing on the things that I am giving up, so they can have new underwear. I need to be content and count my blessings so that I am a happier person who never regrets my decision to give up earthly possessions in order to hopefully be growing Heavenly possessions. I need to be thankful for all God has given me so simply I don’t forget the struggles of wanting something I almost physically couldn’t have. I need to count my blessings, because even though I might want more blessings, they probably aren’t coming unitl I am truly thankful and content with what HE has already given me.
If you've read this far, WOW! It's me again... I'll be back tomorrow with my own post and my own thoughts. I've got some things on the brain.
I have just one question. Why can't Christianity be EASY?!?!?!
9 hours ago