Thursday, May 20, 2010

What’s your title?

Last weekend as Mr. Dunbar was ordering our delectable breakfast from the little cafe with freshly squeezed OJ, I was snapping pictures. The family right next to me was pretty enamored with what I was doing.

IMG_3536 So  when I was done clicking, I smiled, said “Good Morning.”  This was the gateway to a conversation:

The husband to me “Getting decorating ideas?”

Me to him: “Nope, just snapping some shots of my husband and this cute cafe. We’re only here for the weekend.”

Him to me: “Oh really? Where are you all from?”

Me to him and now his very interested wife: “California.”

At this point Mr. Dunbar walked up and right out introduced himself, he’s friendly like that.

The husband asked us about California and if its really as bad as the media makes it sound, he and Mr. Dunbar talked shop, and then the husband turned to me and asked, “And what do you do?”


I thought quickly and then mumbled, “I’m a mom… and a wife.”

No title.

I feel or have felt the need to always answer that question with, “Well I stay home now, but I am a teacher; an educator of young minds.” Or “I was  a teacher, elementary school, with a Master’s Degree!!”  Justification.

This one question has been rearing itself in my brain ever since. What do I “do”? Job title? Profession?  Well let’s see… I do laundry, lots of laundry, I wash dishes, wipe noses and butts, I take care of owies and teach the ABC’s (including Phoneme isolation, Phoneme identity, Oral segmenting, Oral blending and Onset-rime manipulation; ie teacher mumbo jumbo)  I’m a chauffeur, and a cook,  an Outlook calendar, and correspondence representative. I’m raising men; God-honoring future leaders of homes, families, and companies. (Although I am only the co-director of that last segment.) I’m also a help-meet, a lover, sometimes ironer, dry-cleaners picker-upper, errand runner, money spender, and family budgetier. Well, kind of.

Self given titles like Happy Housewife have crossed my mind. Or even Domestic Engineer. That demands respect, right? Or perhaps CEO of Dunbar’s Inc.?  Yes, that’s what I am! Well, okay, not really.

But honestly the only title I want is “Homemaker.” 

I want to create the place where my men feel at rest, where my kids know they get to play mud Cake Party in their new $1 pails from Michaels, get to eat a freshly baked brownie, and know that mom is just down the hall when they have a fever and diarrhea. I want my husband to come home to a homemade healthy dinner, clean clothes, wine in the fridge, and a good night kiss. (Even though I’ve blown it BIG TIME this week.)

Being a homemaker means that I am in charge of making this place a home, a haven. There is no boss coming in and out of here, checking to make sure that I am meeting my goals and that my objectives are clearly marked. No reports showing results as ‘Exceeded, Met or Not Met.’ There is little to no feedback and my results won’t show for another 10 or 15 or 20 years.   But my hope above all hopes is that when I see my true boss face to face, or more like my face to His feet, He will say, “Well done good and faithful servant.”  And perhaps some day before that “Her children arise and call her blessed;  her husband also, and he praises her.” Now that is a goal that takes a lifetime.

But as for titles, I think “Homemaker” will work just fine.

That’s what I {strive] to do.

~mrs. dunbar


Home's Where My Heart Is said...

This was an awesome post! I met someone a couple of weeks ago and she asked what I do. I told her I was a stay at home mom..she was like "oh, well that's good". Like she needed to assure me it was up to snuff. But as I was telling her what I do, I felt like I had to make it sound impressive for her in some way. The irony is, I have my dream job- a homemaker. And the word homemaker is just the tip of the ice-berg; there's so much more to it.

Anyway, all that said, I loved this post, thank you so much :)


Heidi said...

I love that entire post but the last paragraph really is what we Mom's sometimes need to hear and remember. I love reading your blog!

jen@odbt said...

That pause that comes after I say "I stay home" is tough. In today's busy world, I think most don't know how to react to what we do. There are no measures to the outside world although my hope is that I will have raised productive, well-mannered, smart contributors to society. I've embraced my title and honestly there's no way everything we do as moms (working or stay at home) can be defined. I like my payment of hugs, kisses & laughs. Great post Mrs D!!!

Genn said...

Great post. Love your thoughts on what you "do". It certainly is a lot. A lot of very important things, no matter which way you label it. I say CEO is my vote.

PS- Got your email and I will see you on the 2nd!

Feather said...

this is my absolute favorite post that you've written. honest and true. the work you do is much to be respected. homemaker says it all, doesn't it? when you think about what it means, it really does encapsulate this lovely job.

Seizing My Day said...

The last paragraph really sums it up well... it is a privilege to make the home and family life a place of rest, peace, love and safety. I love being the mommy! the home school teacher part is wonderful too! but I need to embrace the home maker part a little better!! =)

Sarah said...

Hey Mrs. Dunbar!

Yes, totally happy to be a homemaker! What a privledge it is! xxx

Sugar and Spice Mommy said...


carissa @ lowercase letters said...

amen, i'm right there with you pretty gal!!! what a blessing and honor it is to be called a homemaker!!! it is certainly the greatest ministry we could ever have.

Martha said...

it's what I strive to do couldn't have said it better...granted I sometimes miss it BIG too:)

patty said...

great post, mrs. dunbar!
i'm a doer of many of those things, too (mostly the laundry)(not so much the butts anymore)... ;o

Nancy said...

Aren't we so blessed to have this "job"? The best job in the world.

Christian said...

Praise God, Mrs. Dunbar. Thanks for the perspective!

Craig and Bethany said...

What a great post! I used to teach too. Feels like a lifetime away, but I still sometimes use it as a pseudo-occupation during those awkward moments when people ask what I do. Really though, I just want to be a homemaker. Thanks for the encouragement.

And thanks for the prayers too.

Katie said...

You are a Wonderful Child of God doing doing exactly what HE intended for you to do! And, it appears your doing a Magnificent Job at it ;)

Kristi said...

Wow this seriously is a great post!! I love it. When I hear that someone stays at home with their kids, I think it's great. I would KILL to be only a stay at home Mom and do all of those wonderful things that you wrote about. I do get to stay home with my girls, but I have to work 30 hrs for my parents doing accounting and then the cakes and stuff. So, I have to do all of that plus the Mom biz, it is not ideal at all!!! To just be home with my kids is my dream job. Honestly. I think that you are doing it right and homemaker is the best title a Mom could wear. Your kids have the best environment possible. You go CEO!!!

Mrs. C... said...

Good post. I wish that was my only title right now - ahh the joys of our economy. Enjoy it while it lasts. ONe more title you got is MOmmy. THat wraps up your day in one cute word.

Kristen Wild said...

Loved this. Thanks for the reminder!